31-year-old self-employed carpenter offers to help pay for his girlfriend's grad school tuition until she mocks his blue collar career: 'She feels her education makes her better'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Oct 16, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

If you're an ambitious DIYer, a homeowner, or just a curious hobbyman, you've probably tried your hand at some light carpentry. Immediately upon picking up a block of wood and some tools, it becomes crystal clear why carpentry and woodworking are specialized careers: It's flippin' hard! Splinters, carving, measurements, hardware, and multitools are overwhelming at first. Don't even get me started on varnishing… 

This carpenter's girlfriend didn't agree, though. 

She was a grad student, going into one of her final years of postgraduate school, but she felt that her education—her 9 years of student life after high school—made her somehow better than everyone else. However, considering she was dating a self-made, self-employed carpenter, she should have known that you don't need a fancy pants degree to make good money in this world. You just need a trade, some talent, and some grit to get started, which is exactly how her boyfriend became so successful. 

Why, then, did she belittle his career after he offered to bankroll her education? Who can say, but it's going to cost her more than this semester's tuition. 

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  • Young man carpenter working in his shop
    via markos86

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • AITA for refusing to pay for my girlfriend's grad school after she mocked my career?
    via Savings-Aioli717
  • I (31M) own a small but successful carpentry business. I didn't go to college, but I make good money. My girlfriend (27F) is finishing her degree and recently got accepted into grad school.
    via Savings-Aioli717
  • Last week, we were talking about her tuition costs, and I said I could help if she needed it, I love her and I can afford it. She joked, "You sure? That's a lot of wood to sell."
    via Savings-Aioli717
  • Young bearded carpenter working in his shop
    via markos86

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I laughed it off, but she doubled down, saying, "I just can't imagine working with your hands all day."
    via Savings-Aioli717
  • I told her that was pretty disrespectful since my job literally built our apartment furniture, and she said I was overly sensitive.
    via Savings-Aioli717
  • So when she later asked if I'd still contribute to her tuition, I said no. She called me small-minded for holding a grudge.
    via Savings-Aioli717
  • Now she's telling our friends I don't support women's education. AITA?
    via Savings-Aioli717
  • Young carpenter working in his shop
    via markos86

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • MovieLazy6576. NTA. She will use you to fund grad school and then find the husband in grad school.
    via MovieLazy6576
  • donname10. Nta. You know you're just temporary right? She's not gonna settle for you. When she gets a job that matches her education, she's gonna left with someone with her level.
    via donname10
  • Zestyclose-Hei... Not your job to pay for her education. She can take out loans if she feels her education makes her better than you.
    via Zestyclose-Hei
  • oldfartpen ⚫ As a single woman your girlfriend has every right to pay for her own education and I fully support her in that. .. And so should you. Let her be free.
    via oldfartpen
  • If you were engaged or married, then supporting her financially is certainly something to discuss.. However, belittling a partners chosen career isn't a path to success for anyone
    via oldfartpen
  • dedsmiley ⚫ ΝΤΑ You don't pay for her college. She is already breaking the circle of intimacy for herself by mocking you. This makes. it easier for her to leave.
    via dedsmiley
  • U. ΝΤΑ She likes your money but she doesn't respect the way you earn it.
    via U
  • As a bf you are not required to "support her education". You are not her husband nor are you her Dad.
    via U
  • I would not recommend you help her with her tuition at all. She can work part-time and take out loans. If you get married at some point after she graduates, you can help her pay off her loans then if you want.
    via U

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carpentry businessman job work grad school carpenter career wood working self employed blue collar business
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